Single Truths

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Single Truths

Hello, Pathway family! Whether you’re here in person, online, or at our Moon campus or classic venue, it’s great to be together diving into God’s Word. I’m Pastor Jeff, and today we continue our Family Matters series with a focus on singleness—unpacking some myths and embracing single truths. One quirky human trait is our tendency to believe things that aren’t true if we hear them enough. Take this: it’s a myth that a frog will sit in a kettle while the water heats to a boil—sorry, no dramatic sermon illustration there! Or that goldfish have a three-second memory, or that touching a baby bird’s egg makes the mother abandon it. Even the five-second rule—licking the floor isn’t a gourmet treat! And Twinkies lasting forever? Not quite—though some of you might argue they’re never edible, right? (I see you Twinkie lovers out there!) Even Seattle isn’t the rainiest city—Pittsburgh tops it. These myths amuse us, but today, we’re tackling some less funny ones about singleness that shape our lives and churches.

The Context of Singleness Today

About half of American adults are single, hovering around that 50% mark. The average marriage age has risen too—28 for women, 30 for men, up from 20 and 23 in 1960. People are exploring life longer before settling down, leading to more singles in our churches, whether never married, divorced, or widowed. This shift matters, especially since married folks sometimes unintentionally perpetuate unhelpful ideas. I’ve been chatting with Pathway singles lately—even hosting a forum—to hear their insights, and their wisdom shapes this message.

Myth 1: Marriage Is God’s Best for Me

This myth suggests singleness is just a prelude to marriage, a waiting room for the “real” life. But that’s not true. Marriage might be God’s best for you one day, but assuming it’s the goal now misses the fullness of your current season. God has huge plans for you right now—single or not. This myth creeps in when people ask, “When are you getting married?” instead of “How are you thriving now?” Or when 90% of Americans eventually marry, and it feels like everyone’s marching down the aisle. Even Proverbs 18 says, “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord,” but what about Jesus, John the Baptist, or Paul—none married, yet mightily used by God? The truth? Singleness is an opportunity from God. In 1 Corinthians 7:7, Paul, single himself, writes, “I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.” Later, in verses 32-35, he adds, “An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs… an unmarried woman… is devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit.” Singles have a unique freedom to focus on God without the distractions of marriage. One single’s advice stuck with me: “Don’t waste seasons waiting for what you want. Live the pros of where you are to the full.” Lean into today—God’s preparing you for whatever’s next.

Myth 2: The Grass Is Greener on the Other Side

This myth cuts both ways. Singles think, “Marriage would bring help with chores, a second income, companionship, guilt-free sex—grass is greener there!” Married folks counter, “Singleness would give freedom, control over my thermostat, peace—no arguments!” But jumping sides reveals struggles and joys on both. Married folks find freedom can breed isolation; singles in rushed marriages nag for help or find sex less frequent (20% of couples manage less than 10 times a year!). Studies even show married people weigh more—don’t stand up to prove it, that was a joke! The truth? The grass is greenest in God’s will. In 1 Corinthians 7:26-28, Paul says, “Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is… But if you do marry, you have not sinned.” Marriage is wonderful if God calls you to it; singleness isn’t second-class if He doesn’t. Yet, cohabitation—often a “greener” middle ground—backfires. The National Marriage Project notes half of couples live together pre-marriage, but CDC data shows a 49% divorce rate within five years and 62% within ten, plus higher domestic violence and abandonment rates. Cohabitation lacks the commitment of marriage—a pledge before God and community that fights for the relationship. If you’re cohabitating, step out now. We’ve seen couples thrive after backing out, even finding success in premarital counseling. The grass isn’t greener—God’s will is where it grows.

Myth 3: Being Married Will Automatically Make Me Happy

Fairy tales and Hallmark movies sell this lie—find the prince, slip on the glass shoe, and live happily ever after. But happiness isn’t a spouse’s job. If you’re single, unhappy, and critical, marriage won’t fix that—you’ll just be married, unhappy, and critical. Contentment isn’t external; it’s internal. Philippians 4 reminds us, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances… whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” True joy comes when your life plus Jesus equals enduring happiness. A single shared this: “Singleness often involves looking for something different, but contentment is found in God, filling spaces of fear and anxiety.” Church, let’s help. Acknowledge unmet desires lovingly—say, “I know this engagement might be tough for you; I’m praying.” Invite singles to family events or small groups—they know they’re single, but your care reminds them they matter. I love hearing of married guys fishing with singles or ladies inviting a single mom for coffee—that’s the body of Christ thriving together.

Living Fully Where You Are

Singles, don’t wait for marriage to live fully—God’s working in you now. Married folks, engage your season too, not eyeing the single life. Let’s love and support each other, rejecting myths for God’s truth. Lean into today, and watch Him grow you for tomorrow.

Closing Prayer

Heavenly Father, thank You for our singles at Pathway, serving boldly and making a difference. For those feeling something’s missing, help us lean into Your fullness now. Grant contentment, heal hurts for the divorced or widowed, and make us sensitive to one another. Let us glorify You together, experiencing the wholeness You’ve planned, in Jesus’ name, amen.

SERMON DETAILS

Speaker: Jeff McNicol
Series: Family Matters
Sermon Title: Single Truths
Date: Feb 23, 2025

SCRIPTURE REFERENCES

• 1 Corinthians 7:7–8, 32–35, 17, 26–28

• Proverbs 18:22

• Philippians 4:11–13

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